February 29, 2012 § 2 Comments
I’m glad that Michael Kimmel’s essay defined homophobia differently than what I am use to thinking of it. People usually think of it as men fearing gay men, but they can fear men in general. Another man can make them look weaker or not as smart, therefore; less masculine. That is where this fear comes from.
I think people can find this example in our society quite often. Men have a lot of pressure to provide for their wife or families. Publicly, it falls on them. This is starting to change, but very slowly.
I really liked the part when the man claims he has no authority or control. He claims that his wife, boss, and kids all boss him around. He has no authority. He truly feels powerless. Men are known to feel power in a group but then powerless as individuals. This can make people see why men may always be angry or frustrated when alone but eager to hang with his buds. The essay goes on to talk about men retreats and the popularity in men social gatherings. Also in the home, man caves are becoming very popular. But do women get a woman’s den? Men still feel this isolation in the home and feel they need to get away to be able to have power or authority.
I also liked the part where they asked people different traits and mannerisms they look for when they know someone is gay. And then they turned it around saying that straight men act the complete opposite to not be mistaken as being gay. But all the traits were what I wouldn’t mind a potential partner treating me with. Why not have them tell you all their emotions? Why not communicate and talk a lot to one another? Maybe the straight men could loosen up and take some pointers from their other fellow men.