The Myth of the Sexual Athlete

February 27, 2012 § 2 Comments

“The Myth of the Sexual Athlete” essay has proven in my life to be true. In middle school I was the female victim of males acting upon their duty to be a “sexual athlete.” This essay describes how in order to be a real man; males have to be tough, cool, competitive, aggressive, strong, dominating, and most importantly able to treat sex and women like they are physical goals to achieve. Men are not supposed to depend on women or need any intimacy with them. Their only to need is to “score” sex. When Sabo describes how boys go through stages from sneaking a peak of Playboy, to jerking off, and then how far you can get with your girlfriend, is where my personal proof starts of the “sexual athlete.” Boys in my middle school started this behavior around age thirteen and fourteen. Boys were constantly saying perverted things about girls and if they were “cool” enough, they saw how far they could get with them. I heard them talk about porn, dirty magazines, jerking off, and then they finally started pressuring girls into doing sexual things so that they could tell their teammates about it. I was just lucky enough (sarcasm) to be dating a boy who was on the football, basketball, and baseball teams. He pressured me, and actually verbally assaulted me, saying that I was a nobody if I did not do these sexual things with him so that he could brag to his friends and be the first one to get past first base. These boys were obviously raised by our culture to see sex and a casual score that they needed to achieve or else they were not manly enough. I was reduced to a sexual object, and “opponent” to his sexual sport.

                This essay got me to thinking; yes, athletes are the stereotypical “lets score sexually” type of guys, but are only athletes like this, or are all men raised this way? I know my dad is obviously not like this at all with my mom now, but was he like this when he was younger? In a patriarchal world, why is it so important to men to dominate women in every aspect of life? In my opinion the first step in changing at least the sexual domination part of life, is WOMEN need to say NO when they are being treated like sexual objects. The way I see it, in order to have sex you need TWO people, not just the man. The woman is just as equally needed in the process. If men can treat women like objects, we should just take away the sex! I know for a fact that luckily some men did not inherit the “sexual athlete” trait, but for the men who did, they need to realize just like the author did; that casual sex is not enough and that being alone will never be completely fulfilling.

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§ 2 Responses to The Myth of the Sexual Athlete

  • singh0321 says:

    As a male, I personally can relate to what the author mentions throughout this essay. I vividly remember back in middle school, all the boys at the lunch table and gym locker room would constantly talk about sex. Jokes about penises and jerking off were of the norm. I remember even walking into the bathroom one day and a bunch of my 6th grade classmates were standing in a circle and looking at a Playboy.

    Sadly, the experience you had with your boyfriend is one that occurs all too often in our society. I remember back in middle school when one of my female friends came out and told a bunch of us that her boyfriend, who was also a football player, would not only try to get her to have sex, but would hit her if she did not listen. The disrespect many men have of women is a serious problem within our society. Personally, I believe much of the problem is related to our culture. Sexual crimes against women in the United States are very high in comparison to other industrialized nations. Sexual depictions are easily accessible with the advancement of the internet and the television is filled with sexual depictions. When a boy is going through puberty, and is introduced to these images, it is almost impossible for him to not fantasize about sexual images. Even I was guilty of viewing some inappropriate content when I was in middle school. I remember when I was in 7th grade; I was introduced to my first playboy. While I am not proud of what I did, looking back at the experience, I saw it as a typical male’s childhood in our society.

    The only part of your essay I disagree with is when you agreed with the notion that athletes are the “lets score type of guys”. While there are many athletes who do subscribe to this lifestyle, you would be surprised that a large number of male athletes do not fit this stereotype. At least not from what I experienced growing up. All in all, I do recognize that there is definitely a problem with the male youth. However, I don’t think it’s possible to fix this issue until our society drastically reduces or removes all the sexual depictions that surround us in our daily lives.

  • ebestrom says:

    I think the essay makes some very good points about the way young men view sexuality. I think there is possibly a problem with correlation and causation. The individuals who tend to be the most successful in sports and stay in organized sports the longest are aggressive, competitive and have focus on the physical. This aggressiveness and competitiveness is encouraged as a benefit and useful skill. They are people who have a strong desire to be the best at everything. Part of that desire is just to be better than others. This causes them to begin to only be able to measure their worth relative to the physical accomplishments of others.So the problem is do sports cause this situation or just condense young men into a group of like minded individuals and exasperating the situation?

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