The Myth of the Sexual Athlete
February 27, 2012 § 2 Comments
“The Myth of the Sexual Athlete” essay has proven in my life to be true. In middle school I was the female victim of males acting upon their duty to be a “sexual athlete.” This essay describes how in order to be a real man; males have to be tough, cool, competitive, aggressive, strong, dominating, and most importantly able to treat sex and women like they are physical goals to achieve. Men are not supposed to depend on women or need any intimacy with them. Their only to need is to “score” sex. When Sabo describes how boys go through stages from sneaking a peak of Playboy, to jerking off, and then how far you can get with your girlfriend, is where my personal proof starts of the “sexual athlete.” Boys in my middle school started this behavior around age thirteen and fourteen. Boys were constantly saying perverted things about girls and if they were “cool” enough, they saw how far they could get with them. I heard them talk about porn, dirty magazines, jerking off, and then they finally started pressuring girls into doing sexual things so that they could tell their teammates about it. I was just lucky enough (sarcasm) to be dating a boy who was on the football, basketball, and baseball teams. He pressured me, and actually verbally assaulted me, saying that I was a nobody if I did not do these sexual things with him so that he could brag to his friends and be the first one to get past first base. These boys were obviously raised by our culture to see sex and a casual score that they needed to achieve or else they were not manly enough. I was reduced to a sexual object, and “opponent” to his sexual sport.
This essay got me to thinking; yes, athletes are the stereotypical “lets score sexually” type of guys, but are only athletes like this, or are all men raised this way? I know my dad is obviously not like this at all with my mom now, but was he like this when he was younger? In a patriarchal world, why is it so important to men to dominate women in every aspect of life? In my opinion the first step in changing at least the sexual domination part of life, is WOMEN need to say NO when they are being treated like sexual objects. The way I see it, in order to have sex you need TWO people, not just the man. The woman is just as equally needed in the process. If men can treat women like objects, we should just take away the sex! I know for a fact that luckily some men did not inherit the “sexual athlete” trait, but for the men who did, they need to realize just like the author did; that casual sex is not enough and that being alone will never be completely fulfilling.