Dilemmas of Involved Fatherhood

January 27, 2012 § 1 Comment


Growing up both my mother and father worked a 9 to 5 job. My mother would come home and be expected to cook dinner for the family, clean up after dinner and do the laundry as well. Never once in my 22 years of life have I seen my father cook a dinner, do laundry or clean. It is just out of his job jurisdiction. That is the female’s job, or he would have the excuse that he had a hard day at work and was too tired to help, making my mother feel like her job wasn’t equally exhausting. I would also have to say I am who I am today because of my mother. Although my father wasn’t absent in my upbringing I feel he didn’t have a major part in it. I can remember back when in sports my mom would be the one to cart me back and forth to practices and always be at every event, but more often then not my father was busy at work. I also have two older brothers and I remember always being upset that dad would always be with my brothers and doing things with them while I had to stay home with my mom because I was a girl. Really did not seem fair to me.

My fiancé and I have been together over 5 years and I can slowly see that the man’s role in the house is changing. We are both students at Purdue we realize that we both have just as much work as the other. Although we still fight over whose job it is to cook and clean, it is not just me doing all the work. We are sharing the roles a little more equally. I have heard a few times out of his mouth that I shouldn’t have to do “this”, “this” is the women’s job. When it comes time to have children I will expect him to share the role equally in our child’s upbringing, and house work, no matter who works more hours and makes more money. To me it shouldn’t matter who has more power in the relationship, because I as a child just felt like my father just didn’t like me because I was a girl and that he liked my brothers better. I understand that times are changing and men’s roles are changing.


§ One Response to Dilemmas of Involved Fatherhood

  • Thank you for your candid response. I remember that the fatherhood essay made the point that involved fatherhood has benefits for maintaining marriages (p330-31). Couples who create more egalitarian relationships have an advantage.

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