Involved fathers

January 25, 2012 § 2 Comments

This article demonstrates ways to overcome dilemmas associated with being an involved father. It is a balancing act of providing financial and emotional support to your family. One man states that it is better to not assign roles in a relationship but to be willing to participate in any task needed for your family. Gerson described a good father to be ‘flexible’, being an involved breadwinner.

After reading this article I can better understand family structures and dilemmas that are associated with that. I think most households have set roles in which the man works and the women care-gives.  For me, it was no different.  This article brings up an interesting statistics that often times, breadwinning fathers have more kids than involved fathers. This makes perfect sense. Having more kids makes your economic requirements higher which involves more work. This also means there are more kids to give baths, read stories or play ball with. I think there is an ideal number of kids that is right for the income and status of each couple. One man in this article made a great point when stating that it is getting harder to balance the act of care-giving and breadwinning in today’s society. Sacrifices such as nice houses, vacations, and paying for college take a trade off with spending more time at home. This can cause stressful decisions for the father.

At my house there were four of us kids. This means lots of money needed to provide for our family. Our father was home only after dark to catch up on what he missed all day. Any emotional support needed, naturally came from our mother. It is funny though.. recently my parents have split. My dad has become this ‘flexible’ figure in my life. He still provides but he also is involved. He lives in a smaller house with less financial obligation and has become very in touch with his emotions and expresses them to me readily. He is also more involved in my life and problems that concern me. I am not sure if it is him taking over for my mom leaving my life or him reconnecting to his feelings but I feel so much closer to him now than ever. I think, when society slowly realizes that a family does not have to be structured by gender, that more similar relationships will be formed with mother and father. These relationships are very important in a young person’s life.

 

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§ 2 Responses to Involved fathers

  • First, I would say not every family “has set roles in which the man works and the women care-gives.” Can you think of any examples? Also, your point about the idea of an “ideal number” of children for families of certain incomes and status makes me wonder who is supposed to determine that “ideal number”? Who gets that power?

  • ihowells says:

    Some families do have different roles in the household. I think that this comes up most often when there are single parents. I don’t think it should be anyone’s power to decide the number of children that a couple should have. I just think that a couple should set down and decide a number that is right for their family. i think people often overlook how much of an expense a child is.

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